Abandon that Paleo Diet nonsense and eat like a happy Halfling of Middle Earth. Feel lighter on your feet without all the hair (Hobbits have notoriously large and hairy feet).
On Hobbits….
And laugh they did, and eat, and drink, often and heartily, being fond of simple jests at all times, and of six meals a day (when they could get them) – Prologue to The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
No need to travel to the great green rolling hills of the Shire, you too can feel the lighthearted happiness of a hobbit by indulging in six small meals each day.
There’s a method to my madness here. Most doctors and nutritionists recommend eating smaller, nutritious meals more often throughout the day as opposed to three large square meals. Hobbits, arguably the happiest race in all of Middle Earth sure knew how to eat, drink and be merry.
As the half-brained hobbit Peregrin Took demonstrates within the first 30 minutes of The Fellowship of the Ring film, hobbits are accustomed to eating all the time. In his monologue about his eating habits, the hobbit mentions seven different meals: breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and supper.
Elevenses isn’t a fantastic part of Tolkien’s Middle Earth, it’s a real, regularly scheduled meal at around 11 in the morning usually consisting of tea and biscuits. Though you’d be hard-pressed to find any Brits today settling down for elevenses as the practice is quite old-fashioned.
Hobbits have small stomachs to match their stature and they eat mostly rugged locally grown vegetables with the occasional fresh cut of meat or homemade, preservative-free cheese. There’s lots of talk of cabbages and carrots in The Fellowship of the Ring, most of them stolen by Merry and Pippin from the angry farmer Maggot.
In the second book of the trilogy, The Two Towers, Samwise Gamgee offers to make a meal of fish and chips for Gollum and Frodo so we are aware that Hobbits eat fish. Aside from Bilbo’s unfortunate borrowing of a magic ring cave deep within the Misty Mountains, Hobbits are known as happy rural creatures that keep to themselves and live off the land.
As you begin to think about your goals for this year and reflect on what you did poorly last year I bet that somewhere in the deeper reaches of your mind there is a voice telling you to eat better. That voice is probably telling you to eat more vegetables, less processed and fried food and some lean protein. Then it makes sense that you should follow the mostly organic, low-carb, vegetable-heavy diet of the cutest Halflings in Middle Earth.
I’ve augmented the Hobbit diet with more modern foods for a solid 5-day plan of clean eating and detoxing. For complete rules and regulations please visit my previous post, “The One Week Detox.”
The Hobbit Detox
Follow this plan exactly to feel as healthy and happy as a hobbit.
For each day of your Hobbit Detox select a meal from each of the following categories: breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and supper and consume your choice at the appointed time. Have a glass of lemon water every day for breakfast to allow your body to prepare for the day’s digesting.
Your 7 Meal Schedule
7:00am – Breakfast
9:00am – Second Breakfast
11:00am – Elevenses
1:00pm – Luncheon
4:00pm – Afternoon Tea
6:00pm – Dinner
8:00pm – Supper
Choose one from each category for each day of your Hobbit Detox…
Breakfast
Lemon Water
Second Breakfast
Blueberry Almond Smoothie
Quinoa with Blueberries
Strawberry Avocado Smoothie
Elevenses
Handful of Raw Almonds
Handful of Raw Cashews
Boiled Radishes
Luncheon
Broiled Salmon
Garlic Broccoli Rabe
Lemon Parsley Quinoa
Swordfish and Avocado
Afternoon Tea
Ginger Lemon Tea
Parsley Tea
Herbal Tea
Dinner
Roasted Sweet Potato
Roasted Beet and Avocado Salad with Lemon Chive Dressing
Boiled Artichoke
Supper
Braised Cabbage with Cumin
Raw Asparagus Salad
Broccoli and Arugula Soup
5-Day Hobbit Detox Sample Menu
Day 1
7:00am – Breakfast – Lemon Water
9:00am – Second Breakfast – Blueberry Almond Smoothie
11:00am – Elevenses – Boiled Radishes
1:00pm – Luncheon – Broiled Salmon
4:00pm – Afternoon Tea – Ginger Lemon Tea
6:00pm – Dinner – Roasted Sweet Potato
8:00pm – Supper – Broccoli and Arugula Soup
Day 2
7:00am – Breakfast – Lemon Water
9:00am – Second Breakfast – Quinoa with Blueberries
11:00am – Elevenses – Handful of Raw Almonds
1:00pm – Luncheon – Lemon Parsley Quinoa
4:00pm – Afternoon Tea – Parsley Tea
6:00pm – Dinner – Roasted Sweet Potato
8:00pm – Supper – Raw Asparagus Salad
Day 3
7:00am – Breakfast – Lemon Water
9:00am – Second Breakfast – Blueberry Almond Smoothie
11:00am – Elevenses – Boiled Radishes
1:00pm – Luncheon – Broiled Salmon
4:00pm – Afternoon Tea – Ginger Lemon Tea
6:00pm – Dinner – Boiled Artichoke
8:00pm – Supper – Braised Cabbage with Cumin
Day 4
7:00am – Breakfast – Lemon Water
9:00am – Second Breakfast – Quinoa with Blueberries
11:00am – Elevenses – Handful of Raw Cashews
1:00pm – Luncheon – Garlic Broccoli Rabe
4:00pm – Afternoon Tea – Herbal Tea
6:00pm – Dinner – Roasted Beet and Avocado Salad with Lemon Chive Dressing
8:00pm – Supper – Broccoli and Arugula Soup
Day 5
7:00am – Breakfast – Lemon Water
9:00am – Second Breakfast – Strawberry Avocado Smoothie
11:00am – Elevenses – Handful of Raw Almonds
1:00pm – Luncheon – Swordfish and Avocado
4:00pm – Afternoon Tea – Parsley Tea
6:00pm – Dinner – Roasted Beet and Avocado Salad with Lemon Chive Dressing
8:00pm – Supper – Braised Cabbage with Cumin
The Recipes
Breakfast
Lemon Water
You will need:
4 Lemons
6 oz warm water (for each serving)
Method:
1. Squeeze all lemon halves and save the juice in a jar in the fridge.
2. Each morning, combine 1 tablespoon of lemon juice and 6 oz. warm water in a glass.
Second Breakfast
Blueberry Almond Smoothie
Makes 1 serving
You will need:
1/2 cup frozen blueberries
3/4 cup almond milk
1 scoop vanilla whey protein powder
1 tablespoon finely ground flax seeds
1 tablespoon water
Method:
1. Blend all ingredients together in a blender. Add a bit of water if you prefer a more liquid consistency.
Quinoa with Blueberries
Makes 3 servings
You will need:
1 cup dry quinoa
2 cups water
1 cup blueberries
1 teaspoon honey
Method:
1. Bring the quinoa and water to a boil in a medium saucepan.
2. Once it boils, cover and turn the heat down to low, simmer for 12 minutes.
3. Take the pot off the stove, remove the lid and let it sit for 5 minutes. Then gently fold in the blueberries and add a bit of honey to each serving individually to sweeten.
Strawberry Avocado Smoothie
Makes 1 serving
You will need:
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 avocado
3/4 cup almond milk
1 scoop whey protein powder
1 tablespoon finely ground flax seeds
up to 2 tablespoons water
Method:
Blend all ingredients together in a blender. Add a bit of water if you prefer a more liquid consistency.
Elevenses
Boiled radishes
So simple, yet so satisfying. These chilled treats will pop in your mouth and stave off hunger.
Makes 2 servings
You will need:
1 small bag or bunch of radishes (about 2 cups)
1 teaspoon salt
Method:
Bring a medium saucepan filled three quarters of the way with water to a boil. Carefully drop the radishes in and boil for 15 minutes. Test with a fork to ensure the radishes are soft but still have their crunch.
Drain and toss with salt and chill in the refrigerator for at least three hours.
Luncheon
Broiled Salmon
Makes 2 portions
You will need:
3/4 lb. fresh salmon filet
1/2 teaspoon black pepper.
1/2 teaspoon flax seed oil
1/2 teaspoon finely ground lapsang souchong tea (from a tea bag) -optional
Method:
1. Coat a baking sheet lined with foil with flax seed oil and place the salmon filet on top.
2. Coat with pepper and lapsang soughing (if you’re using it).
3. Place under the broiler of your oven for 6-8 minutes. Turn off the broiler and let the salmon continue to cook for an additional 2 minutes.
Garlic Broccoli Rabe
Makes 2 portions
You will need:
1 bunch broccoli rabe (also known as rapini)
3 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons flax seed oil
1 pinch red chili flakes
Method:
1. Bring a medium saucepan of water to boil. Blanch the broccoli rabe for 3 minutes and drain.
2. In a large nonstick skillet, heat the garlic and oil together over medium heat. Then add the broccoli rabe and chili flakes. Cook for 3-5 minutes and remove to a cutting board to cook. Chop the stalks into bite-sized pieces and serve.
Lemon Parsley Quinoa
Makes 2 generous portions
You will need:
1 cup dry quinoa
2 cups water
3 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons chopped Italian parsley
Method:
1. Bring the quinoa and water to a boil in a medium saucepan.
2. Once it boils, cover and turn the heat down to low, simmer for 12 minutes.
3. Take the pot off the stove, remove the lid and let it sit for 5 minutes. Then fold in the lemon juice and parsley.
Swordfish and Avocado
Makes 2 portions
You will need:
1 lb. fresh swordfish, cut into thin filets
1 pinch paprika
4 teaspoons lime juice
1 avocado
Method:
1. Heat a large non-stick pan over medium-high heat. Sprinkle paprika on both sides of the swordfish. Cook each side of the fish for three minutes. The fish is buttery enough – so there is no need to use oil.
2. Slice the avocado in half and drizzle both avocado and swordfish with lime juice.
Afternoon Tea
Ginger Lemon Tea
Makes one portion
You will need:
1/2 inch piece of ginger, cut into small pieces
1 teaspoon lemon juice
6 oz. boiling water.
1. In a mug, pour the hot water over the ginger piece and mash with the back of a wooden spoon. Let steep for 3 minutes.
2. Fish out the pieces of ginger with a spoon and add the lemon.
Parsley Tea
Makes 1 portion
You will need:
1/2 cup parsley leaves
2 cups water
Method:
1. Break up the leaves with your hands into a tea pot or the basket of a mesh tea strainer (you want to keep the oils). Pour boiling water over the leaves and steep for 10-15 minutes. Halfway through the steeping, mix and mash the leaves with the handle point of a wooden spoon.
Dinner
Roasted Sweet Potato
Makes 2 portions
You will need:
2 medium-sized sweet potatotes
2 small sheets aluminum foil
2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar
Method:
1. Preheat your oven to 400. Wrap the sweet potatoes in foil, pierce all over with a fork and place directly on the top wire rack. Place a baking sheet on the rack below to catch any liquid that seeps out.
2. Roast for about 1 hour. Let the potato cool for 10 minutes before eating.
3. Enjoy it plain or with a tiny splash of balsamic vinegar, I promise it’s good.
Roasted Beet and Avocado Salad with Lemon Chive Dressing
Makes 2 portions
You will need:
4 cups butter lettuce or mixed baby greens
6 medium sized beets (I like to mix red and yellow beets)
2 teaspoons flax seed oil
2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar
1 avocado, sliced into small pieces
3 tablespoons flax seed oil
2 tablespoons lemon
1 small bunch fresh chives (about 15 stalks)
Method:
1. Preheat oven to 375. Wrap each individual beet in foil and place on a baking sheet. Poke a few holes in each beet with a fork.
2. Roast the beets for 1 hour, or 1 hour and 15 minutes if they are especially large.
3. Let the beets cool for at least 30 minutes. Peel with a vegetable peeler and slice into small pieces. Set aside ½ the beets, ½ the avocado and ½ the greens to use for another meal.
4. Rip the chives into smaller pieces and put them in the bowl of a small food processor or blender. Add the flax seed oil and lemon to the processor and blend. Blend for about 1 minute until the chives are completely ground up. Set aside half the dressing. Add the greens, beets and avocados to a large bowl and toss with dressing.
Boiled Artichoke
Makes 1 serving
You will need:
1 large artichoke
1/2 lemon
Method:
1. Bring a medium sized pot of water to boil. Add the artichoke and lemon (whole) to the boiling water. Cook for 40 minutes – then try to pull off a leaf. If it comes off easily and is not too fibrous when you eat it, it’s done. If not, continue cooking it.
Supper
Cumin Braised Cabbage
Makes 2 portions for day 1 dinner and day 2 lunch.
You will need:
4 cups shredded red cabbage
1 tablespoon cumin seeds
2 cardamom pods
1 teaspoon flax seed oil
1/2 cup water
Method:
1. In a medium sauce pan, heat the flax seed oil over medium heat. Add the cumin seeds and cook, stirring frequently, for 2 minutes. If they start to smoke, turn the flame down.
2. Add the cabbage and the water and cover. Cook for 8-10 minutes until water is absorbed and cabbage has cooked through and turned purple. Add more water if necessary.
Raw Asparagus Salad
Makes 1 portion
You will need:
1/2 lb. big fat asparagus
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 teaspoon lemon juice
freshly ground pepper
2 tablespoon toasted pine nuts
Method:
1. Using a vegetable peeler, slice thin strips off the asparagus into ribbons.
Note: if your asparagus is too thin and your peeler just isn’t making nice thin ribbons- simply chop the stalks into 2 inch pieces, blanch in boiling water for 2 minutes and then toss with the dressing.
2. Toss with olive oil, lemon juice, pine nuts and pepper.
Broccoli and Arugula Soup
Makes 2 servings
You will need:
1 lb. fresh broccoli crowns
1/2 small yellow onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
2 garlic gloves, chopped
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cups fresh baby arugula
3 cups water
Method:
1. In a large heavy-bottomed pot, heat the olive oil over medium heat and add the onion and garlic. Cook for 2 minutes then add the broccoli.
2. Continue cooking the broccoli until it starts to brown and then add the water. Bring to a boil and then simmer for 10 minutes.
3. Add the arugula and then take the soup off the flame. Allow it to cool slightly for 10 minutes. Use an immersion blender to turn the mixture into soup. Or, pulse in your blender in small batches when it is cooler.
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